He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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