we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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