Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
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So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
My breasts were aching with rage.
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I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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