What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
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Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
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i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
My life is pants optional.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize