You can't special order awesome
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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