Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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