She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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