She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
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Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
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I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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