Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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