My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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