I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
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My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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