how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
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You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
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So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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