come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
well you can't waste a boner
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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