Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize