erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
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Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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