I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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