I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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