Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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