I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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