he wants to bone in the snuggie
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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