i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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