if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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