I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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