Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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