Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
How does one acquire holy water?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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