Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
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Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
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He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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