I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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