I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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