he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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