someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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