I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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