In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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