Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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