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What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
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