We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize