I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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