Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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