We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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