Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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