this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
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I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
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I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
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