I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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