i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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