Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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