Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
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I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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