Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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