So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize