the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
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Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
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She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize