he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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