Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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