5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
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Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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